


tell me when the light goes out

by lallemanting



Series: tumblr prompts [1]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Prompt Fill, Sharing a Bed, but it quickly becomes v soft, i'm a sucker for both of these tropes so they're in here, really tried to do some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 06:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lallemanting/pseuds/lallemanting
Summary: for the prompts: “shouldn’t you be with him/her?,” “you have no idea how much I want you right now,” “I won’t lose you too,” and “I fell in love with you, not them."





	tell me when the light goes out

**Author's Note:**

> for the anon who asked for prompts 15, 43, 94, and 99 from [this prompt list](https://lallemanting.tumblr.com/post/186957233766/angstfluff-prompt-list)!
> 
> ([here](https://lallemanting.tumblr.com/post/186988216246/hi-if-youre-still-up-for-the-prompt-list-thing) is the original tumblr post for anyone who prefers to read on there)
> 
> title is from "us" by james bay

Lucas has just turned his light off when he hears a faint knock at his hotel door. It’s late, later than he really should have stayed up seeing as he has to be up early tomorrow for the wedding, but the boys had made him promise not to go back to the hotel until they’d had a few drinks, caught up.  _ Just like old times _ , Arthur said.

There’s part of him that’s grateful the boys are making such a show of everything because Lucas still can’t quite believe Yann is getting married. So he appreciates the attempt at normalcy, even if everything feels like it has been changing so quickly recently.

The biggest change, of course, is Eliott. Lucas had met him in the hallways at school, a nervous new kid, and brought him into the circle. They had all gotten close, Lucas and Eliott especially. They were each other’s rocks when there was nowhere else to go. Lucas was the first person Eliott had told about his bipolar disorder and Eliott had gone with him on several occasions to visit his mother (and even, once, a tense meeting with his father). They were each other’s anchors, balancing weight, internal compass, in ways no one else even approached. Lucas and Yann had always been close, long before Lucas met Eliott, but there had always been something different with Eliott, something Lucas couldn’t quite name.

In his last year of lycée, Lucas figured out that something different was his being completely and totally in love with Eliott. Unfortunately for him, that was also the time Eliott met Lucille, so he held his tongue, swallowed his pride and kept playing the role of best friend even when all he wanted was for Eliott to look at  _ him _ , talk about  _ him _ , the way he talked about Lucille.

And maybe he’d been more obvious than he originally thought because about a month before the wedding Eliott had come to Lucas and told him that they needed to see less of each other, that Lucas couldn’t always be the first person Eliott ran to when something was wrong, because as Lucille had apparently pointed out, that person should be  _ her _ now. 

Those words had set a fire in Lucas and all he wanted to do was scream out  _ maybe there’s a reason you run to me and not her _ but he couldn’t get the words out. The only thing he’d managed to say that night was a grunted  _ fine _ before he slammed the door in Eliott’s face and proceeded to cry himself to sleep.

So Lucas can’t say that he was particularly surprised when Eliott turned down drinks with the boys tonight. They hadn’t spoken since that night (or at least Lucas had stopped responding to Eliott’s messages, and Eliott had given up trying to send them) as Lucas tried to mend his broken heart. Yann had tried to get Eliott to join in for the nostalgia, but he’d taken one look at Lucas’ face, muttered something about having to get back to Lucille and ran off. 

Lucas felt the anger rise up again then and he’d spent the whole night pretending like his annoyance was the same as the rest of them, because he couldn’t let anyone know that despite everything, his heart still longed for Eliott.

So now, as Lucas lies in the darkness and hears the brisk knocking at his door, the promise of sleep clouding his mind, he feels irritation rise at whoever is keeping him from passing out and hopefully dreaming of something less fucked up then his current life.

He pulls back the covers, and swings his body upright, pausing to turn his lamp back on. He strides across the room and peeks through the peephole to see who the hell is knocking on his door at 3 a.m. His heart sinks when he sees who is standing there.

Lucas quickly unlocks the door and pulls it open to find Eliott,  _ Eliott _ , standing out in the hallway, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. He’s wearing a thick jacket and his shoulders are hunched as he stares at the floor.

“What do you want?” It comes out colder than Lucas intends and he watches Eliott bristle at his tone and shrink even more. Lucas feels a sudden urge to reach out and pull him close because he knows Eliott and he knows that’s the kind of comfort Eliott needs but he stops himself. He reminds himself that Eliott was the one that asked for space, because Lucas being around so much made  _ Lucille  _ uncomfortable. Lucille! And Eliott had just let it happen.

Eliott looks like he’s about to cry and opens his mouth once, searching trying to find the words but it takes him a minute to gather his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out finally, the words hinging on tears. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

**“Shouldn’t you be with Lucille?”** Lucas snaps back, unable to stop himself from digging at Eliott just a bit. Eliott was the one who said he needed to go to her now whenever things got bad, that she had to be his priority. So Lucas didn’t quite understand why Eliott was showing up at  _ his  _ door at three in the fucking morning. Unless– 

“I don’t think that’s going to last,” Eliott whispers, picking his head up to meet Lucas’ eyes. “Please...can I come in?”

Lucas feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him and he stares at Eliott for a moment in stunned silence. But then his brain catches up and he steps aside, opening the door wider.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he says, ushering Eliott in, suddenly grateful that he’d booked his own room. Whatever animosity he’d been holding onto starts to dissipate and Lucas can’t help it because this is exactly what used to happen, what Lucas wants to happen – Eliott coming to him. It’s the first sign that his Eliott might be coming back to him.

Eliott steps inside and Lucas closes and locks the door behind him, turning around to find Eliott standing almost frozen. He reaches out gently and touches Eliott’s shoulder, trying to bring him back to Earth. He walks past Eliott to sit on the edge of his bed and motions for Eliott to come join him. They sit there on the bed in silence as Lucas tries to figure out what to say next, regretting the icy tone he’d taken as he opened the door. He keeps looking at Eliott trying to get him to look up, meet his gaze, but Eliott won’t. Finally, Lucas speaks.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, gently, quietly, reaching out slowly for Eliott’s hand, just to rub soothing circles into his palm, but he aborts the movement at the last minute. Eliott looks up at him, his eyes red and tired.

“I don’t know,” Eliott says. “It’s complicated.”

Lucas nods, holding Eliott’s gaze, almost getting lost in the fierce swirling storm of blue and gray. “Okay,” he says. “But I’m here, okay? No matter what. I’m sorry for being so rude before, it’s just...I’ve missed you. But, I’m your best friend. I’m always here for you.”

Eliott lets out a small strangled cry somewhere between a laugh and a sob and looks down at his lap, fidgeting with his hands. Lucas wishes he could reach out and hold them, but that’s not who Eliott is to him. 

“You say that now, but I’m afraid you’re going to change your mind if I tell you what happened. Lucille did,” Eliott says, his voice small. He looks back at Lucas. “ **I won’t lose you too.** ”

Lucas does reach out then and pulls Eliott to his chest, trying to tell him with his grip that he won’t lose him, that he couldn’t lose him. Lucas is Eliott’s forever – he’d given a piece of himself over to Eliott a long time ago. Almost as soon as they met.

After what feels like an eternity, Eliott pulls back and Lucas, not thinking, reaches up and wipes the tears from his cheeks. But Eliott doesn’t even blink. He just gives Lucas a small smile, which he has no way of knowing makes Lucas’ heart race. 

“It’s okay Eliott, you don’t have to tell me tonight. Actually, you don’t have to tell me ever,” Lucas says, his hands, now resting on Eliott’s knees, trying to maintain contact and hopefully give Eliott something to ground him, something to focus on. “But I want you to know that there’s nothing you could say that would make you lose me.”

Eliott smiles again and Lucas’ heart swells. 

“Thank you Lucas,” he says and gently squeezes Lucas’ hand. He’s stopped crying and some of the color has returned to his face and Lucas can’t help but wish he could keep holding his hand forever.

Lucas glances over at the clock then and realizes just how late it is. There’s nothing else that can really be done tonight, and Lucas knows Eliott always feels better in the morning. Lucas can feel his own eyes fighting to stay open and Eliott looks tired as well. They should sleep but Lucas just wants a few more moments with his fingers interlaced with Eliott’s.

“Maybe, for tonight, we should go to bed,” Lucas says finally.

“Can I stay here?” Eliott asks, like he’s unsure of what Lucas might say. But Lucas knows he could never say no to him.

“Of course.”

“I can sleep on the couch.”

Eliott starts to stand but Lucas grabs his wrist. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you and I both know you can’t fit on that couch,” Lucas laughs softly trying to dispel the tension. He’s joking but trying to imagine Eliott and all his long limbs on the tiny couch on the other side of the room is pretty funny. “We can share the bed, it’s not a big deal.”

He might have said it’s not a big deal, but Lucas is suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he’s only wearing a t-shirt and boxers and now he’s condemned himself to sleep next to Eliott for the rest of the night. It shouldn’t be a big deal – they’re friends and the bed is big enough for the two of them – but Lucas’ body does not seem to get the memo. His heart starts racing and his stomach twists.

“Are you sure?” Eliott asks.

“Yes.”

They move about a bit, shuffling around the space to accommodate Eliott spending the night. Lucas grabs an extra pillow from the closet and Eliott discards his jacket, jeans and shoes by the small chair in the corner. Lucas offers him a t-shirt but Eliott waves him off.

“I’ll just sleep in the one I’m wearing.”

They climb into bed then and Lucas clicks off the light and suddenly they are plunged into darkness. Lucas lays on his side, facing away from Eliott, the covers tucked under his neck, acutely aware of Eliott’s weight next to him. He tries to will his mind to stop focusing on it, on Eliott’s warmth next to him, on Eliott’s soft breathing filling the room. But his mind won’t shut off so Lucas lays there, paralyzed and tired and unable to sleep, as the man he’s in love with lies next to him.

Lucas lays there for what feels like an eternity, listening for Eliott’s breathing to even out and indicate that he’s fallen asleep, but it doesn’t. Lucas wonders if thoughts of Lucille are keeping him awake, if whatever they fought about it already seeming like a stupid problem that they’ll move past in the morning. He wants to kick himself for feeling angry at the thought of them reconciling but he can’t help that the idea that Eliott and Lucille might finally be over makes his heart soar.

Eliott has clearly not fallen asleep, because he turns then, onto his back and whispers, breaking the silence in the dark room.

“Lucas?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re still awake?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Eliott is quiet then, long enough that Lucas thinks he might have finally fallen asleep, but then– “I know I’ve said it before, but Lucille and I are broken up for real this time.”

“Oh?” 

“It’s different this time.”

“Why?” Lucas can’t quite bring himself to believe Eliott and keeps his eyes shut, still willing sleep to find him.

“Because I can’t love her.”

Lucas’ eyes shoot open and his heart skips a beat. That is not what he was expecting to hear. He rolls onto his back as well. “What?”

“I tried, I did. Probably for longer than I should have,” Eliott says, his voice barely above a whisper. Lucas thinks he feels the ghost of Eliott’s fingers against his own. “But I finally realized the problem.”

“What was the problem?” Lucas can barely breathe.

**“I fell in love with you, not her.”**

Lucas can’t move, afraid that the littlest shake will wake him up from whatever dream he’s clearly living in, because that is the only place he ever expected to hear that from Eliott. He can feel Eliott’s eyes on him now, trying to gauge Lucas’ reaction to his admission. And suddenly there are so many words swelling up in Lucas’ throat – so many things that he wants to say but he can’t get anything eloquent out. 

“What?” he chokes out.  _ Nice _ , he thinks.

“I said I’m in love with you,” Eliott says, sitting up next to him, running a hand through his hair. “Fuck. Should I not have said that?”

“No!” Lucas almost shouts, abruptly sitting up next to Eliott as well. “No,” he repeats, softer, and turns to look at Eliott who is no longer looking at him. “I just...I was surprised, that’s all.”

“Surprised,” Eliott says, looking slightly dejected. “Okay.”

Lucas can tell that he has about three seconds to get his shit together and tell Eliott how he feels before Eliott bolts, so he reaches out and gently grabs Eliott’s chin, tugging his face towards him.

“Hey,” Lucas says. “I was surprised because I never imagined I’d be lucky enough to hear that from you...about me.”

Eliott looks up at him then, a soft smile emerging on his face. “Really?”

“Shit, yes, Eliott,” Lucas says. “I’ve been in love with you for years.”

“Years?” Eliott’s smile could light the sun.

“Pathetic, right?” Lucas whispers, their faces drawing closer.

“No,” Eliott says, shaking his head slightly. “Romantic.”

They look at each for a moment, and Lucas drops his gaze to Eliott’s mouth imaging for what feels like the thousandth time what it would feel like to have his lips pressed against Lucas’. But he’s realizing that he won’t have to imagine for much longer.

Lucas isn’t sure who finally closes the distance then, but then their lips are touching, gentle at first, exploring the new feeling. It doesn’t take long for Eliott’s hand to find his face, pulling him closer, their kisses turning from gentle and sweet to sloppy and rough. Lucas feels like his nerve endings are on fire and all he knows is Eliott – his smell, his touch, his  _ taste _ – and it’s better than he’d ever allowed himself to imagine. 

Eliott’s mouth finds his jaw, the notch under his ear, his neck and Lucas finds himself being pulled roughly into Eliott’s lap, Eliott’s hands running up his sides under his shirt. Lucas shivers at the feeling of Eliott’s hands on his bare skin and it takes all of his willpower to hold it together. Lucas brings Eliott’s face back to his and kisses him again, hard, taking all the air from his lungs. Eliott pulls back slightly, but only slightly, keeping their foreheads together, their breathing heavy and desperate in the dark.

**“You have no idea how much I want you right now,” ** Eliott whispers against Lucas’ lips before pulling him for another searing kiss.

And Lucas laughs, because he can’t believe his luck, can’t believe that the boy he’s loved for years is finally saying all of that to him. And because, Lucas thinks, as Eliott slowly kisses his neck, he knows exactly how Eliott feels.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry I can't end anything without elu being happy and in love cause we all know that'd be unrealistic
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@lallemanting](https://lallemanting.tumblr.com/)
> 
> please let me know what you think!! love you all! <3


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